Learning to Set Aside My Values to Help Others

Lately, I’ve been reflecting on how my personal values and emotions can sometimes get in the way when I’m trying to support someone. There are times when another person’s choices might conflict with my own past experiences or beliefs, making it difficult for me to offer the kind of help they need. It’s natural to want to offer advice based on what we know or have been through, but I’m learning that sometimes this approach isn’t the most helpful for the person in front of us.

What I’ve come to realize is that when I’m triggered by someone else’s situation, it’s important to take a step back. I need to separate my own feelings from theirs and focus on what is genuinely best for them, not just how I feel about the situation. This can be hard when my own experiences cloud my judgment, but by practicing self-awareness, I’m able to make space for their needs, even if it’s uncomfortable for me.

It’s becoming clear to me that helping someone isn’t about imposing my own values or making decisions based on my past. Instead, it’s about listening carefully to their feelings, their desires, and what’s truly in their best interest. They need support in making their own choices, even if those choices are different from what I might personally believe or prefer. This shift in perspective has helped me offer more compassionate, unbiased help.

Ultimately, learning to set aside my values and focus on others’ needs has deepened my ability to support them in a way that’s respectful and caring. It’s an ongoing journey, but I’m committed to growing as a more thoughtful listener and being there for people without letting my own experiences or judgments interfere. It’s not always easy, but it’s worth it to offer true, unconditional support.