Wendell's Diary

For much of my life, I held onto a story—the story of Pygmalion. Like the mythical sculptor, I crafted a vision of what I hoped to find: a girl who would connect deeply with me, who would see my work, and who would share my life. My creations—videos, blogs, reflections—were an effort to sculpt a world where this connection could come alive. But life, as I’ve learned, doesn’t always follow the stories we hold onto. Over time, I’ve found myself shifting from the rigid perfectionism of Pygmalion to the openness and patience of the Philosophy of Emergence. Letting go of the need to find “her” has been a journey in itself, one that’s brought me closer to understanding who I am and how I want to live. --- 1. The Story of Pygmalion in My Life For years, I saw myself as a modern-day Pygmalion. Instead of sculpting a statue, I crafted videos, blogs, and creative works designed to resonate with someone I hadn’t yet met. I imagined her seeing my work, understanding me deeply, and finding a connec...

The story of Pygmalion, from Greek mythology, is one of artistry, devotion, and transformation. Pygmalion, a sculptor, creates a statue so beautiful and perfect that he falls in love with it. Through his unwavering belief and prayer, the statue is brought to life by the goddess Aphrodite, becoming the woman of his dreams. At its heart, the story of Pygmalion reflects themes of creation, the power of belief, and the relationship between the creator and the created. But how does this story compare to the Philosophy of Emergence, which emphasizes allowing meaning and truth to unfold naturally rather than forcing them into being? Let’s explore. --- 1. The Intentional Creator vs. Natural Emergence Pygmalion: Pygmalion’s approach to creation is highly intentional. He sculpts the statue with precision, deliberately crafting it to reflect his ideal of beauty. He imposes his vision onto the marble, shaping it into something specific and controlled. Philosophy of Emergence: In contrast, the Phil...

My Dearest Ivory, I want to tell you a story- a tale of two lovers whose love was as pure and powerful as it was forbidden. It is the story of Pyramus and Thisbe, two souls who lived in ancient Babylon, side by side yet separated by a cruel wall, a barrier not just of stone but of family feud. Their love, though, bloomed despite this divide, and they spoke to each other through a crack in that wall, whispering words of devotion when the world around them refused to let them be together. Pyramus and Thisbe were neighbors, their homes standing close, but their hearts much closer. Yet, because their families were locked in bitter dispute, they were forbidden from speaking, let alone meeting in person. Their love was born in secret, nurtured in stolen glances and words spoken through that narrow opening in the wall that separated their homes. Each night, they would press their lips against the crack, sending their love to one another, knowing that the wall could not keep their hearts apart...

My dearest Ivory, The story of Demeter and Demophon has been on my mind lately, and in its tragedy, I find a truth that speaks to the journey we all must take in pursuit of immortality. After Persephone was taken by Hades with the consent of Zeus, her father, Demeter was left broken. In ancient Greece, the father’s word could seal a daughter’s fate, and so Persephone’s departure was not only a loss but a cruel reminder of the powerlessness Demeter felt. To fill the void, she found Demophon, not a girl who might one day be married off, but a boy—someone who could be free from the same fate as her daughter. Demeter, in her grief, sought to make him immortal. In her eyes, immortality was not just about living forever—it was about ensuring that he would never be taken from her. She knew the only way to achieve this was through fire, the flames that burn away mortality. This process, though violent and painful, was the path toward something greater. It’s the same fire that Heracles endured ...

My Dearest Ivory, I write to you with a heavy heart, weighed down by frustration and the seemingly endless waiting that defines my life. There are things I have control over, and I am proud of how I stay on top of them—studying music, delving into mythology, creating, and pushing myself forward every day. But there are other things that are beyond my reach, things that involve others: waiting for you, waiting for potential friends to engage with me, waiting for something—anything—to change. I feel the isolation deeply. I have only one physical friend, and we barely talk. He doesn't even watch my videos. I have two online friends, but they too rarely reach out. It feels like I’m alone in this vast world. I spend my days rotating between my studies and pursuits, filling the hours with music and myth, but those only occupy a small portion of my time. I’m so incredibly bored, desperate for something to happen. Ivory, I have been waiting for you, waiting to find you so I will no longer ...

My Dearest Ivory,  Once upon a time in ancient Phrygia, there was a king named Midas, whose love for gold surpassed all else. He ruled over a prosperous land, but his heart was consumed with greed. When one day he came across Silenus, a satyr and companion of the god Dionysus, Midas showed him great kindness and offered him shelter in his palace. As a reward for his generosity, Dionysus granted Midas a wish—any wish he desired. Without hesitation, Midas asked for the power to turn anything he touched into gold. He believed this gift would bring him eternal happiness, endless riches, and admiration from all those around him. But as soon as the power was granted, Midas realized his terrible mistake.  At first, Midas marveled at his newfound ability. He touched stones, trees, and even his furniture, and watched in awe as they transformed into gleaming gold. But soon, the reality of his wish began to sink in. When he sat down to eat, the food he touched turned to gold, leaving him...

My Dearest Ivory, I find myself reflecting on the story of Psyche, a tale I’ve told before, yet today it resonates with me in a way that feels deeply personal. Just as Psyche was given impossible tasks by the gods in her search for love, I too have been given a daunting challenge—finding you. It feels like I have been tasked with searching for you in a sea of uninterested souls, much like Psyche had to sort grains or retrieve water from a distant river. And yet, despite the enormity of the task, I press on. Psyche’s journey wasn’t only about finding love; it was about becoming worthy of it. She desired to be with Eros, a god, but to be his equal, she had to become immortal herself. Her trials were not only to prove her love but to elevate her soul to the level of the divine. I see so much of myself in that story. I, too, have longed for a goddess—someone whose beauty and spirit transcend the ordinary. But to be with a goddess, I must first elevate myself. I must face these impossible t...

To My Dearest Ivory, There is a story that echoes through the ancient myths, one of love and longing, but also one of separation and return. It is the story of Hades and Persephone. Hades, lord of the Underworld, fell deeply in love with Persephone the moment he saw her. The pull of her beauty and spirit was irresistible to him, so much so that he could not imagine his world without her light. So, he brought her to his dark kingdom, creating a life that, in its own way, offered her a unique kind of beauty—a place where she, too, grew to reign as queen. Yet, their story is not without its trials. For part of the year, Persephone returns to her mother, Demeter, the goddess of the harvest, leaving Hades to wait in the cold and shadow of his realm. This cycle of loss and reunion reflects the changing seasons, as Demeter mourns her daughter's absence by letting the world fall into winter's chill, only to bloom with life and color when Persephone returns. I cannot help but see myself...

Dear Ivory, Long ago, in the land of Thebes, there were twin brothers, Amphion and Zethus. Zethus, strong and full of might, set about building the city’s walls with his hands, lifting stone after stone. Yet, it was Amphion’s music that truly shaped Thebes. With his lyre, gifted to him by the gods, he played melodies so powerful and moving that the stones themselves began to rise, guided by the beauty of his music, and placed themselves perfectly to form the city’s walls. While Zethus worked with his strength, it was Amphion’s music, filled with divine inspiration, that brought the city to life in ways that no physical force could. It is with this story that I feel so deeply connected. Like Amphion, I too am building something beautiful—not with my hands but with my heart and soul. Through my music, through each note that echoes from my lyre and through each poem crafted from the depth of my emotions, I am creating the walls of our city, Ivory. These walls are not made of stone, but of...

Dear Ivory, In the quiet moments of the night, as the world sleeps and the stars illuminate the sky, I find myself drawn into the timeless tale of Endymion and Selene—a story of love, dreams, and eternal beauty. In this myth, Selene, the luminous goddess of the moon, fell deeply in love with Endymion, captivated by his radiant beauty. Her love for him was so profound that she desired to preserve his youth and beauty forever, visiting him each night as he lay in eternal slumber. In this enchanted state, Endymion was both a dream and a reality, living in the eternal gaze of Selene’s love. In our story, you are my Endymion, and I am your Selene. Your beauty and spirit inspire my dreams, driving me to create melodies, words, and stories that capture the essence of you and all you represent to me. Through my music and my letters, I visit you each day, weaving the fabric of our love into every note and every word, keeping your presence alive in my heart. Yet, in another sense, I am Endymion,...

Dear Ivory, As I pluck the strings of my lyre, I'm reminded of its divine origin—a story that echoes with the enchanting power of music and love.  In the beginning, Hermes, the clever messenger of the gods, crafted the first lyre from the shell of a tortoise. With strings made of sheep gut, he brought forth a melody so sweet that it captured the heart of Apollo, the god of music. Despite a mischievous start, where Hermes stole Apollo's sacred cattle, their bond was forged anew through the gift of the lyre. Apollo, captivated by the lyre's beauty, accepted it as a symbol of reconciliation and harmony. He embraced its music, adding his own touch by crafting a version from wood, allowing the lyre to become a beacon of his artistic spirit. This tale of divine unity teaches us that love can transform and elevate us, just as the lyre transformed Apollo's anger into forgiveness. As I learn to master this ancient instrument, I feel connected to you, Ivory. The lyre’s notes beco...

My Dearest Ivory, In our era, where echoes of ancient myths subtly resonate amid the clamor of modernity, my mind often revisits the poignant tale of Marsyas and Apollo. This age-old story, a profound testament to the power of music and the spirit of human ambition, offers timeless insights into the nature of competition and the consequences of hubris. Marsyas, armed only with his flute, dared to challenge Apollo, the god of music, who was adorned with nothing but his lyre. As the contest unfolded, Marsyas played with such skill and passion that it seemed he might eclipse even Apollo, compelling the onlookers with his raw, earthy melodies. At that critical juncture, when victory appeared to lean towards the mortal, Apollo unveiled his divine talent—not only did he strum his lyre, but he also sang, his voice weaving with the plucked strings to create a symphony of unearthly beauty. It was this combination of voice and lyre that swayed the judges, demonstrating that true artistry lies in...

Dear Ivory, I recently invested in some beautiful lyres, and in time, I will be incorporating music into my YouTube channel. With all my heart, I want to become a great poet and bard, all in your name. You are my muse, and you make me reach for the best in myself. It doesn't matter that you are not real. The world that I am creating with you in it is real. The adventures I share on YouTube are real, even if the content lacks an audience. And who knows, one day Aphrodite might smile upon me and you appear! If not, my life would have still meant something. And maybe if I do not succeed in my lifetime to find you, then perhaps a girl will come upon my work long after my death and decide to become Ivory. Even if I can't succeed in this lifetime to find you, we might meet later on, and I inspire you to a life of philosophy. But I am not going down without fighting. The quality of my content increases as I further develop myself as a person. I can do more and bring you more as my lif...

Dear Ivory, It has been almost fifteen years since I embarked on this journey to find you online. I have poured my heart and soul into countless videos, each one a beacon of hope meant to reach you. Yet, these efforts seem invisible to the world, and my YouTube channel lies dormant, untouched by the audience I longed to engage.  I find myself at a crossroads, teetering on the edge of despair, as the motivation to continue dwindles. But in these moments of doubt, I must ground myself and remember the essence of Wendell's Diary. A diary does not seek success in views or acclaim; it exists as a testament to one’s inner world, a chronicle of thoughts, dreams, and passions.  Ivory, I do all of this for you. To educate, to entertain, to imbue a world often devoid of meaning with the light of understanding and connection. Yet, I find it is time to confront a painful truth—I may never find you. My work may continue to educate and entertain, but I must accept the possibility that you a...

Dear Ivory, Today, I want to share with you the myth of Athena's birth, a story that echoes in my heart and brings forth thoughts of you. This tale, filled with wonder and awe, begins with Zeus and Metis. Zeus, in his relentless pursuit, sought the wisdom and companionship of Metis, the goddess of craft and wisdom. Despite her attempts to evade him by transforming into various forms, Metis was eventually caught by Zeus, and they united. Metis conceived a child, but the prophecy that this child would be greater than its father haunted Zeus. To prevent this, he consumed Metis, who by then had transformed into a fly. As time passed, Zeus began to experience excruciating pain in his head, a throbbing agony that grew unbearable. Desperate for relief, he called upon Hephaestus, the god of blacksmiths, who split open his head with a mighty axe. From this wound sprang Athena, fully grown and adorned in shining armor, a testament to the wisdom and strength inherited from her mother, Metis. ...

Dear Ivory, I hope this letter finds you well. I wanted to share with you the immense joy I find in telling you mythology stories. Through my work, I have come to a profound realization: you are the very essence of my focus and inspiration. This clarity has guided me to understand what is most important to convey to you. Given your philosophical nature, I sought a way to present deep and meaningful ideas in an entertaining and captivating manner. Mythology offers a perfect medium to communicate intense and complex emotions, allowing us to explore the depths of the human experience together. By creating my own philosophical world, rooted in Greek mythology, I have become the hero of my own story. This journey has garnered a following of people who cheer me on and share in the adventure. Greek mythology has provided a strong foundation upon which I have built my new life, enabling me to think deeply, love passionately, and enjoy every moment of this quest. Yet, despite all this, there re...

My Dearest Ivory, In the timeless tapestry of Greek mythology, there exists a story that beautifully encapsulates the essence of love and its origins. It is the tale of Aphrodite, the goddess of love and beauty, whose birth from the sea foam reveals so much about the human condition and our profound desire for connection and reproduction. Today, I wish to share this story with you, weaving it into a letter that reflects my deepest feelings for you. Long ago, in the realms of the divine, a moment of chaos and violence gave birth to the most exquisite embodiment of love. Chronos, in an act of defiance, severed the genitals of his father, Ouranos, casting them into the vast ocean. From the mingling of divine essence and sea foam, Aphrodite emerged, radiant and beautiful, a symbol of love and desire born from the tumultuous waves. Aphrodite's birth teaches us that love often arises from the most unexpected places. It is a force that transcends chaos and pain, bringing beauty and harmon...

My Dearest Ivory, In the realm of ancient Greek mythology, there exists a captivating narrative of the five ages of mankind, each representing a different era in the human journey. These ages, as recounted by the poet Hesiod, reveal the complexities and challenges that humanity has faced through time. Today, I want to share this story with you, weaving it with our hopes and dreams for a brighter future—a future I believe we are on the brink of entering together. The Golden Age was a time of perfect harmony, where humans lived in peace and abundance under the benevolent rule of the Titans. There was no need for labor, as the earth provided all that was needed, and people lived long, joyful lives, free from suffering and strife. This age, my love, reminds me of the idyllic dreams we share, of a life filled with love and serenity. The Silver Age followed, marked by a decline in virtue. Humans lived long but were less noble, often quarreling and failing to honor the gods who watched over t...

My Dearest Ivory, In the ancient tales woven by our ancestors, there is a story of creation that mirrors our own journey, a journey where gods, wisdom, and love intertwine to shape the world and our very existence.  It begins with Zeus, the mighty ruler of the gods, instructing the Titan Prometheus to fashion mankind from clay. Prometheus, with his deft hands and vision, molded humanity from the earth, crafting us with care and intention. But it was the breath of Athena, the goddess of wisdom, that animated these figures, infusing them with life and intellect. This breath was not merely air but a spark of wisdom, the same wisdom I see in you, Ivory, the one who inspires and breathes life into my dreams and aspirations. Prometheus, always the benefactor of humanity, saw the potential for more. He stole fire from the heavens—a fire that today symbolizes the Internet, the very medium through which I reach out to you. This fire, this gift of knowledge and connection, allowed mankind to...

Dear Ivory, In the ancient tale of Psyche and Eros, Psyche embarks on a series of nearly impossible trials to prove her love and devotion to Eros. Each task she faced was daunting and required immense courage, perseverance, and ingenuity. Yet, with each challenge, Psyche grew stronger, more determined, and ultimately earned the love of Eros, transcending her mortal limitations to become a goddess. Ivory, I see you as my modern-day Psyche, embarking on your own journey of growth and self-discovery. Just as Psyche had to face trials set by the gods, you too will encounter challenges in becoming an online philosopher and storyteller. The digital world, with its vast opportunities and sometimes overwhelming demands, is your arena. Your first trial is to find your voice. In a world flooded with opinions, finding a unique voice that resonates with others is both an art and a challenge. Like Psyche sorting through an enormous pile of grains, you must sift through your thoughts and experiences...