When Conflict Can't Be Resolved: A Reflection on Family and the Philosophy of Emergence

For as long as I can remember, my relationship with my father has been complicated. There’s a pattern that’s played out over and over: he says or does something that hurts me, I get upset, and instead of talking it through, he shuts down. He ends the conversation abruptly and cuts contact, leaving me alone with my feelings. No resolution. No closure. Just silence.

This has been his way of handling conflict my entire life. And every time it happens, I feel the same frustration, sadness, and sense of loss. It’s like hitting a wall, over and over again, knowing that no matter how hard I try to explain myself or seek understanding, the outcome will always be the same.

It’s exhausting. And it’s starting to feel like I can’t keep doing this to myself.

The Philosophy of Emergence teaches me that meaning and truth reveal themselves naturally over time, through patience and observation. When I reflect on this pattern with my father, I see how much it’s shaped my emotional well-being. I’ve tried to let things unfold, to approach our relationship with patience, but what has emerged is the realization that this dynamic isn’t healthy for me.

A relationship, even with a parent, should offer some stability, respect, and a willingness to work through challenges. But when every attempt to resolve conflict is met with silence, it creates a cycle of hurt that feels impossible to break.

I’ve stopped talking to my father many times over the years, hoping that space would create room for change. But every time we reconnect, the same thing happens. It’s like we’re stuck in a loop, and I’m the only one who feels the weight of it.

I don’t know what to do next. Cutting ties with a parent feels like a monumental decision, one that impacts the rest of your life. What if I never know when he passes away? What if I regret it later? These questions weigh on me heavily.

But then there’s another question: what happens to my mental health if I keep allowing this cycle to continue?

I don’t have answers yet, but I do know this: I need respect, reliability, and the ability to have real conversations about the things that matter. Without those, I’m not sure how a relationship can thrive.

For now, I’m sitting with the possibility of stepping away for good, letting the Philosophy of Emergence guide me as I reflect on what’s best for my well-being. I don’t know what the future holds, but I know I need to protect my peace.