Learning to Be Complete: Embracing Solitude and Self-Reliance

For much of life, we’re taught that fulfillment comes from external connections—finding a partner, building friendships, or seeking validation from others. But over time, I’ve learned something different: true completeness comes not from external sources but from within. It’s about embracing solitude, pursuing meaningful work, and realizing that your own actions can make you whole.

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1. The Journey to Patience and Self-Reliance

There was a time when I saw obtaining a wife as the ultimate goal, the greatest good. I believed that having someone to share life with was essential to feeling complete. But life had other plans. Despite my efforts, that goal remained unobtainable, and I had to confront a hard truth: just because we deeply want something doesn’t mean we can have it.

That realization taught me patience—not just patience in waiting, but patience in accepting life as it is. Over time, I began to understand that my worth and completeness weren’t tied to whether or not I achieved that goal.

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2. Shifting Values and Priorities

As my perspective shifted, so did my values. I came to see that being with someone isn’t inherently the best path unless that person is truly right for you. Forcing a relationship that doesn’t align with who you are can bring more struggle than peace.

Now, I see that I’m probably better off single unless the connection is undeniably right. This isn’t a compromise; it’s an empowering realization that frees me to focus on what truly matters: my own growth and the meaningful work I create.

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3. The Joy of Solitude and Creation

Being alone isn’t the same as being lonely. In fact, I’ve found that solitude is where I do my best work. When I’m alone with myself, I create things that I’m genuinely proud of—my blog posts, videos, philosophies, and reflections.

Creating Completeness: My work isn’t just something I do; it’s part of who I am. Each piece I create adds to my sense of fulfillment and purpose.

Building a Legacy: By focusing on my own actions and creativity, I’m leaving behind a body of work that represents my journey and growth.

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4. Embracing Self-Reliance

This journey has taught me that I don’t need someone else to complete me. While relationships and connections are meaningful, they’re not prerequisites for a fulfilling life.

Finding Meaning Within: My sense of completeness comes from my own efforts—my ability to reflect, grow, and contribute meaningfully to the world.

Freedom from Dependence: By relying on myself, I’ve found a sense of freedom and peace that external validation could never provide.

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5. A Life Worth Living

This isn’t to say that I’ve given up on connection. If the right person comes along, I’ll welcome them into my life. But I no longer feel incomplete without that connection. My life, as it is, is meaningful and fulfilling, shaped by the work I do and the person I strive to become.

Being alone has given me the space to explore who I truly am, to focus on what I love, and to create a life that feels authentically mine.

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Closing Thoughts

Learning to be complete on your own is one of the most liberating lessons in life. It’s about realizing that your worth isn’t defined by external factors but by your own actions, growth, and contributions.

If you’ve ever felt incomplete or dependent on external validation, I encourage you to look inward. Embrace the solitude, create something meaningful, and let your own efforts guide you to a sense of fulfillment. You might be surprised by just how whole you already are.