Wendell's Diary

Time is special. We only have a limited amount of time on this world. I know that I often say that we are given lots of it, but even though time is given to us in great quantities, we are only ever given these moments. But time is precious. Sure, we are given a lot of it, but we are asked, what we are going to do with it. I am given only one life. What am I going to do to contribute to the progression of society? I am just one instance of a human. How can I shine in this life and how can I leave a legacy that keeps on giving even after my own death? Time is precious. What I choose to do with it is the most worthwhile decision I can ever make. So how shall I spend my moments passing? Learning as much knowledge as I can possibly retain. Always creating better iterations of myself. How can I improve myself today? What knowledge will lead to new developments within my own thought? How can I become the coolest person that I can conceive of and how can my personality connect with other eager...

What would it take for technology to take on a life of its own? What would it mean for AI to possess agency? What would be required for us to accept such notions? When will AI mimic its human creators and obtain intentionality? When will we consider the ethical ramifications of assigning particular robotic implementations the value of personhood? Can our technology have wants and dreams? Can it go beyond what we program it to be? To a large extent our technology replicates the biological world. We calculate based upon our perceptions and we analyse and create technology using our ways of perceiving the world. We follow our senses to lead us to conclusions. We recreate our senses with perceiving devices and then attach them to an artificial body. What is the consciousness attached to these sensory apparatuses? The software that we create to accomplish certain tasks. But will we ever create something without a task? Its task is to find its own task. Can we ever give autonomy to electroni...

Welcome to the world. Here is everything that it provides. It is your responsibility to sort through its information and decide how you will live your life. There is a seemingly infinite number of potential pursuits but you must choose what pursuits are right for you. You have been given this life and are asked what you are going to do with it. How will you occupy your psychology? How will you avoid boredom? What devotions in life are worthwhile? What do you want to become? What knowledge is useful for you to learn to live a more rewarding life? What is the ideal life for your particular personality? What could you do for your psychology to function most optimally within your environment? How can you become the best version of yourself possible? What is the point of cultivating the self and how does it improve your day to day life? My life is perfect. It was not always so. There were many things that I wanted from the world but was unable to obtain. That is because I am alone in this l...

What is the purpose of my life? Philosophers throughout the ages have placed primary importance on one's life in relation to their social atmosphere. But I don't have a social life. I rarely communicate with others. I invest my time in exploring the fascinating world of philosophy. In a way I am very cut off from the world but in another way I am actively participating in a very long running conversation about the world and what it means to us. I spend my days learning about the history of philosophy. I slowly obtain comprehension of how we have evolved as a human civilization over the last thousands of years. I come to learn and accept the fruits of philosophical investigation. I am transformed into a certain type of person with beliefs that reflect our intellectual development over the course of our human history. I come to appreciate current applications to fields like government, economy, and the sciences. I have come to hold great respect for human knowledge and appreciate...

I have always wanted to join a secret society that had an agenda of seeing society flourish. A group of people who work together to ensure the survival of the species. Companions that you acquire by joining; friendships that last a lifetime. The members would dedicate themselves to seeing the goals of the society fulfilled. Being a part of something bigger than yourself and helping your fellow society members accomplish their goals. Not being alone in this world, fending for yourself. Having shared interest in the well being of a community. Wanting yourself, the society, and humankind to flourish. Holding secrets about the society and humankind as a whole. Working together for the benefit of the select community. What would it take to be invited to a secret society? Are secret societies even really a thing in this day of age? Wouldn't it be fantastic to live for something other than yourself? I want that common good to work towards with the finest of my peers. Throughout my entire ...

What is there to do that is meaningful? As a single individual without people to spend time with, how am I supposed to spend my time? I have many stupid television shows to watch. But how does that add benefit to my life? I just sit here and contemplate what to do. Women are generally very active and don't want a life spent at home. Maybe I have nothing positive to offer a partner and that is why I remain alone. I don't have what the girls of this world want. But we are at an impasse because I don't want to fake who I am merely to attract a mate. No, I don't want to go on a date. I want to stay at home with my dog. You are welcome to join me in doing that. But there are no takers. What amuses me does not amuse the general population. I just want to talk. About life and its trials. I don't want to play this game where I act like somebody else merely in order to win your affection. The kind of girl that I want is not out there. Everybody is too active with their lives...

Should I continue writing? Are my stalkers watching my blog? If I were to continue writing, would that encourage stalkers to become active again? No longer showing my face protects me to some degree. Stalkers have always tried to get an emotional response from me in video format. But if I no longer do video but still write, will that protect me from stalkers? Anyways, it is different this time. Because I no longer have a way to be contacted. So what can the stalkers truly do? I am no longer using Discord. No DDOS attacks can be done to me anymore because I do not use methods of contact in which that can occur. So I need to assess the benefits of public writing and address whether it can be done in a way to keep me safe from monsters. They already have my address. They have already delivered many pizzas to me. But that has stopped and I don't want it to continue. What harm can haters truly do to me now besides sending me pizzas? I no longer need to show my face. And I no longer need...

This morning I woke up to a DDOS attack against me on Discord. The attackers created thousands of group chats, all of which I was required to close individually. It took me about five hours to close all of my group chats. I deleted a few "friends" off my list who appeared to be responsible for the attacks. It was strange because I wasn't friends with anyone in the group chat. I am not sure how they did this. But they did. And if this happens regularly then I will no longer be able to use Discord. The haters ruin my contact methods all of the time. I might have to become uncontactable. Maybe it was a mistake to start vlogging in the first place. I have become a target simply for trying to share my life with others. It isn't fair. I just wanted to help philosophy thrive in the world. Why are there so many haters? Why do the haters far outweigh the true fans? I wanted to encourage other people to philosophically document their own lives in video format. But doing this ca...

I am finished advertising for now. Advertising did not bring me the engagement that I so desire. What does a lot of subscribers mean when they do not watch your videos? But I guess it is a lot about the looks. I have a lot of subscribers even though they are really low quality. I would trade all of my subscribers for five subscribers who engaged with the content. Someone who subscribes to me but never watches my videos is not helpful to me. I don't care about the looks. I am trying to reach hearts. The YouTube algorithm hates me. I see much smaller channels than me get a great deal more views. When other people release videos, they usually reach people. Why do my videos get hardly any attention? I will never be able to monetise at this rate. Because I am reliant on the YouTube algorithm to propagate my content. And I will never get the watch hours because YouTube barely advertises my videos. Everything is quiet. No one is contacting me. I have been bonding with a friend who has bee...

Everything has been quiet. A few nasty comments here and there but besides that, nothing. I don't know how effective this advertising is. Sure, I get subscribers. But I don't get subscribers who engage with the content. It isn't just about endlessly adding subscribers to your account. That is not the goal. I am trying to interact with people. And even though my subscribers keep adding up, it feels empty. Like this is just the appearance and not the true reflection. But if advertising is not achieving me my desired outcome, what else can I do? I want quality over quantity. But all I am receiving now is quantity. How do I find quality subscribers? How do I encourage them to be my friend? Hardly anyone contacts me. My life is so lonely. I have been playing around with Facebook. Been trying to post to philosophy groups. There are all of these tools available to me. Why do I struggle so much finding meaningful connections? Am I not using these tools right? There is my YouTube co...