a new year

It's 2024 and nothing has changed but the date. I am still in the same situation that I was last year. This year I want to develop a mouthpiece on the Internet. I want to grow to an extent that all I have to do is post on my pages to get exposure to my work. Currently, many videos of mine really never see the light of day. They never get the opportunity to shine. I want every post of mine to get a decent level of attention. And I want to find people who will further discuss the subjects I raise in the comments section. I just want the ability to speak and be heard by the public. Currently I speak into an echo chamber. I shouldn't have to use other people's social networks to spread my messages. I should just be able to use my own and that be adequate to propagate the content.

What can I do to become more popular? Will advertising only find me people who do not engage with the content? How can I find other people as excited about philosophy as I am? What a lonely world I live in. How come sharing my world does not encourage other people to become a part of it? Why are people at such a distance? Why is it so hard just to get my name out there? What a beautiful world I would live in if I only had followers that engaged with the content. I am trying to encourage the public to discuss the topics that I investigate. How come it is so hard to find followers who engage with the content? What am I doing wrong? I see other channels that have a lot of engagement. What about my content discourages others to interact with it?

What is sanity? Sitting here at the beginning of the year with nothing to do and nothing planned to do in the future. What I want I cannot find. Who would have thought that life would primarily be about searching for people. I guess most of us are searching for people in some way. I just don't happen to be someone that many search for. I have been searching for people like me since I can remember. I was always isolated from society. Even in my childhood. We moved around a lot so I could never develop friendships. Now I am almost over the hill and I still am struggling finding friendships. I should rename this diary Wendell Complaining because that is all I ever seem to do.

But I am complaining about qualities that I am missing that are fundamental to the human experience. No one should be without friends in this life. There is a huge overarching sociological problem that I am experiencing. People shouldn't have to feel lonely. Society isn't providing for my needs. As a result I go crazy locked inside my own house. What more can I do about it than I am doing now? I am a public person that is open to new friendships. I can't just keep begging the world for friends. What is so wrong with me that I am unable to form friendships? I think that I am a pretty cool person. What truly is going wrong here? It is like the world is stopping me from succeeding. I can't get attention from the YouTube algorithm. Hardly anyone engages. And my past work gets forgotten.

How helpful is it to have hopes and dreams? The goals sit over your head and taunt you. But at the same time those hopes and dreams bring meaning to your life. It also conditions you to be the best person that you can be when you potentially do reach your hopes and dreams. It gives guidance and direction to your life. It makes you want to work hard to achieve something that is outside of yourself. All of my achievements are internal and accomplished as a result of me. But what if I could inspire a heart to create content of their own? That would provide me entertainment and meaningful ways to interact with people. I really wish my vision of the superfriends could become a reality.

I want to one day look back on my lonely years as a thing of the past. I don't want to experience loneliness all of my life. I want to figure out how to break the curse. Even after all of this work, I remain here in solitary, no new phone notifications to capture my attention. Nothing new happening in the world of Wendell. All is dark. All is calm. Nothing is wrong. Everything is okay. But you have nothing to do and that is your place in life. Meaningful connections rarely occurring in life. Isolated from your human brothers and sisters. I might go out and nod at or thank the store assistant. That is the limits of my human interactions. I have not shared a meal with another since I can't remember. Life is mine, and mine alone.

I want more from life this year than being bored. I want to make something from what is in front of me. I want to make a home for myself on the Internet that attracts regular visitors. I still have not found my place in life, socially speaking. I am just a guy screaming into the Internet and nobody is listening. I am alone here. This is my world. Nothing but solitude. You can hear the crickets chirping. No one has even commented on this blog since I started it. Text for text's sake. Just words here that fill out a paragraph. So much meaning in my work but it means so little being so isolated. Is the point of the work for me or other people? Or is it both? It doesn't have to be one or the other. The purpose of the work is for both myself and other people. But few ever get the opportunity to experience it.

What does it mean to be the change that you want to see in the world? Day after day I give my heart to a society that does not want it. But I became my own role model. I am someone that I can look up to and trust to make the right decisions. I am doing the best that I can with my life. I really am trying hard to encourage people to make content. They just do not realise what they are missing. It is a high that nothing else can achieve. Coming to the end of a work and looking back on it is super rewarding. You tell yourself a story. This story is composed of your feelings. It develops into a structure with a beginning, middle, and end. At the end, pat yourself on the back for a job well done. It only took your entire life to develop the person that could create such content.

Because people are always developing. We don't get to a point and say that we are through developing. Self improvement is something that can be infinitely chased. We can always find areas of our life to improve. If we are not improving then we are dead. So now we get to the end and are asked what you will make of the year 2024. There is always some goal worth striving for. What goal would be worth attaining in 2024? Let me suggest the creation of your blog and vlog. Establish your soul on the Internet. Become the person you always wanted to be. Be the star of your own television show. Let me guide you into how to record your expressions. It feels really good to get everything out in the open. Let your voice be heard in 2024.