the public

I have inspired someone to make a blog documenting their life philosophically! I would prefer a vlog but a blog is good enough. That means that what I am doing is working. Because now I have another friend and he is now producing work that I can follow. This is a great sign. And my other friend still wants to make a vlog and a blog, he is just very slow about it. This is a good sign of what could be. If I just gathered a group of content producing friends together, then we could all entertain each other. We would also grow very close getting to know each other deep down. These are the types of friendships that I want in my life. If you care about meaning and creating meaning in your life, then you should also make a blog and a vlog and join us. It is really fun. Learning to express yourself brings joy to your life. And the friendships you make along the way will last a lifetime.

A hater told me to get a haircut today. He said that long hair is only attractive on women. The only exception being his precious Jesus. People contradict themselves so often. What is wrong with my hair and why is it offensive to you? How can you watch a video of a guy begging for friends and only think two things, he needs religion and he needs a haircut. I have very few viewers that engage in meaningful ways. Most of the feedback that I get is negative. How can they judge me? They don't give their lives to the public. They don't know what compassion is. Yet they try and force their crazy religion down my throat and damn my soul for not receiving their gift.

What is the gift that they offer? Worshiping a man as God? Dedicating your life to out there stories that could not be possible in the real world? Is that what it takes to get to Heaven? Caring for the soul is not an important part of the process. You must dedicate your life to collective ideology. Then you must force this ideology on others and tell them that they are going to Hell after you are rejected by them. This is the way to Heaven. I don't want any part of their Heaven. It is full of people like them which would be my personal Hell. Heaven for me would be a religious free society. Their Heaven is not my Heaven. In their Heaven they will forever be stuck with one another which to me sounds a lot more like Hell.

Let them have Heaven and Hell. They can have it all. It is their doctrine. It is not my own. Where my soul is going after my death is unique to me. What really is Heaven anyways? I spend my life trying to build a heaven here on Earth. I am trying to exist in my perfect world. All that we know that we get is life, so why not try and make that life beautiful? Why pine over a perfect reality when you can create it while your heart still beats. Do not collect treasures for yourself in Heaven. Collect treasures for yourself in the clouds. Document your life and share your heart with the world. These are the real treasures that will be passed down through generations. Make a difference with your life and leave a living legacy. Let us rain Heaven down on Earth.

My vision of Heaven would be very different than mainstream versions. It would be a utopian society that values philosophy in their day to day lives. It would be technologically driven and everybody would be taken care of. It would value authenticity. Everyone would get along and share their lives with each other. But this vision is something humans have the potential to create. It does not have to be a fantasy land that can only exist after death. With enough time and development, we could create socially inclusive and safe societies. I see societies in the future where working is optional. Why don't Christians spend more time making the world more heavenly instead of racing to the end only to finally realise that there is nothing more and they wasted their life on fruitless endeavours.

My channel is getting a good amount of activity right now. The video "isolated and alone" is doing very well. My subscribers are growing faster now than ever. I am getting a lot of people contacting me too, which is good. I hope from here on out my channel grows faster. I am tired of not being able to reach people. It is about time things changed for me in my life. I have persevered throughout many trials. I say this but that video has stopped getting attention now. I am back to where I started, but this time with more followers. It always feels good to get a little bit of attention and I appreciate when it happens.

Marketing has been impossible for me. First I got scammed by a Nigerian and then I get scammed from an app. I spent $60USD on an order from this app that says it will advertise my YouTube channel for me. But the order has been stuck in processing for eight days and they are not returning my emails. They have a problem with their system and there is no way for me to resolve it without their help but they are ignoring my emails. I don't know what to do about marketing. No matter what I do I just keep getting ripped off. Should I just allow my channel to grow naturally? It is a big hassle trying to market myself. Should I just allow whatever to happen, happen? Although very slowly, I am growing now. I don't have to market myself. I can save up that money to feel more secure in life.

But marketing would help me be less bored. It would help me get out there more. I just don't know who to go to. I have the product. I just have no way to be able to market the product. I am at mercy to the YouTube algorithm to spread my presence. Most of the time it is trash. But sometimes a video gets attention. It is rarely a video you want getting attention but it is attention nonetheless. Platforms like Fiverr do really low quality work. Traffic that they drive to you is usually from non-English speaking countries. I don't know how to find special people like myself. I am really alone here on this planet. I am desperately trying to find like minds. But I feel like I am communicating to a toddler when I speak to these people. They are undeveloped and unrefined. They come to me preaching their biases and expect me to welcome them into my life.

Any way I look at it, I must accept the fact that things are improving. I am finding more friends and I am reaching more people. Things are slow yes, but little by little I spend more of my time socially. Maybe I just need to enjoy the growing experience instead of trying to rush to the finish line. I have already created so much. The structure is there to motivate me on a day to day basis. I have all the social networks in which people can best communicate with each other. Despite my life being lonely, I am doing pretty well for myself. YouTube has its ups and downs but slowly the downs become less extreme. I am putting myself out there in all the right ways. All I have to focus on is the next video or the next writing. My life is simple and I enjoy the simple things. I am perfectly fine just sitting here in my chair and doing nothing. As long as that is not all I do then I am happy. I have been blessed in life in so many ways. Now it is time to figure out how to be blessed in all aspects of my life.