imagined realities

In this room I sit. Every world I could ever possibly want to experience is before me. Isolated in my house I live a rich inner world. Everything is possible within my own mind. Making the outside world reflect those inner workings is the tricky part. But by giving your life to the public on a daily basis, that vision slowly transforms into potential realities. The direction I take in my work is also the direction that I take in my life. My work is the dream, and now my task is to turn it into reality. How close I can make this dream into reality is the question. The work is my reality that I exist within. And I crafted this work with my own two hands. I am the creator of the realities in which I experience.

But to achieve this dream I must rely on other people. Because I am seeking other people to experience this life with. And I know very well that I cannot control the actions of others. So all I can do is encourage others to create philosophical content like I am doing. That is the extent which I can control to make this dream a reality. So I teach other people how to become a content creator like myself. And I try and attract a pretty lady who wants to dedicate her life to philosophy. Through my work, she could get to know me very well. But I can't force someone to be my friend or lover. Everything has to align for these things to take place. This just means that it will take a lot of time to find the right people.

But just because I can't control people doesn't mean that there isn't anything that I can do to make these dreams more of a possibility. My actions effect the potential actions of other people. Making a thought provoking or heart warming production makes it more likely that the people that I want in my life will eventually enter it. If I can only emotionally connect with my audience then I might one day find the people that I seek. So how I spend my time is of great importance. What I do now might land me a new friend or even better yet, a lover. I can't give up on my dreams. I must continue producing content. Some days are really difficult to produce content. Other days and I am producing an abundance of content. I guess it all depends on how lonely I am.

Sometimes I don't want to write or make videos. But then my boring life comes back to haunt me and I usually cave into writing or making a video. It is really difficult to live a life where all that you have going for it is a blog and a vlog. These are the extent of my interests in this world. When I stop producing content, I have nothing else to live for. Writing and making videos gives me something to live for. I dream of being a social butterfly and be talking to people all of the time. I want to invest my time in meaningful conversations between two people. I love directing my own path and all by experiencing my own work, but I alone am not enough to be able to healthily sustain myself. I need food for the soul from other people. I seek it every day, but rarely find it.

During my childhood I would always have things to do. My parents brought me up as a very active person. From piano, gymnastics, camping, to clogging, my parents always gave me activities to do. I rarely wanted to do any of those activities. I would prefer to just sit at home and talk about life. But instead, my parents kept me real busy. Now days I have nothing to do and it drives me crazy. My aspirations of being a social butterfly are not manifesting. How can I spend my time meaningfully? Without other people it is hard to answer that question. Sure, I can vlog and blog, but being stuck in your own head will make you insane. But I am insane. I am nothing like the people of this world. I am but a stranger.

It is not that nothing happens in my life. It is just that everything is so slow to happen. I am an active person with time. But I can't seem to find anyone else in this world with time. Everybody is so busy with their lives. What could be more important than having a conversation with me? I am not very highly valued in this world. What I have to offer, other people do not want. I feel like I am talking to a lower species. The things that are important to them are not important to me. And the things that are important to me are not important to them.

Where can I find this new human? One that has built themselves from themselves. The kind that values morals, empathy, wisdom, and compassion. A public person who can act as a role model to other people. Their views captured for the world to experience. Their soul immortalised through media distribution. I want to find more of myself within the world. I find it almost impossible to find like minds. Everybody is so closed off in this world. Their realities belong to only themselves and their loved ones. It is hard to tell who is who in a crowd of copies. Are there other unique people out there that share their soul with the world? Why can't I find them?

I spend a lot of my time in bed. Not sleeping but just laying there, passing time. It is either that or sit in my living room and do nothing. At least in bed I am at peace. My life revolves around checking my notifications on my phone. But I so rarely get any notifications that it feels strange to revolve my life around it. I can't expect to get notifications every day. Some days are really quiet. Sometimes I hate my phone for not going off. Something within me screams when I am isolated for long periods of time. Time just passes more easily in bed. And I have a really lazy dog so it works out for me. She is always up for cuddles. But can cuddles from my dog make up for being so socially isolated?

The experiences I record is the reality I exist within. It guides and directs my every movement. It positions me in life where I want to be, or at least closer to it. The content in which I manifest tells me what to do next. It allows me to process my feelings about life and come to conclusions that can benefit me. I make the work for many reasons. It accomplishes many tasks. It works behind the scenes even when I am not there. Once a production is created, it is entered into the public domain. What someone can make content producing do for their lives is only up to their imagination. With the right tools and right know-how, one can easily share their life with the world. I teach ways in which that could be accomplished.