life remote

I have always been fascinated with the mind and exploring its potential. I have always sought minds that were worth exploring. But in order to find minds like these, I had to find open hearts. Because one must let you in on their world if they display their mind openly. Philosophers throughout the ages attempted to document their thoughts. But they had to have the hearts that enabled them to share that information. Most people are very close hearted. Yet which life is more rewarding? The public life or the private life? I live a very rich and fulfilling life invested into my own ideas. This is a public diary. I am not hiding my inner feelings. I am sharing them.

I met a girl on a dating app. She seems really cool and is open to blogging and vlogging. She is interested in philosophy and mental health. I shared with her my "girl problems" video and she said it scared her because it was like I was talking about her. We didn't really get a chance to talk for very long because she had to go to bed, but this is the first promising encounter that I have yet had with online dating. She seemed receptive to me and she is very pretty. She is from the United Kingdom. Wouldn't it be so cool if I found love this way? Everything that I have done would be so rewarding because she would be making romantic videos for me! How amazing would it be having a gorgeous girl make romantic videos for you?

Sometimes I wish I could speed up time. If I could just fast forward through all the boring bits then my life would be much saner. Loneliness really gets to me. It makes me internally scream. There is all this time in between the events that happen in my life. I don't know what to do with it. I usually write or make videos but I do not always feel in the mood to be creative. Sometimes I just want human conversation. Conversation with yourself is great and all, but meaningful conversation between two individuals is a high that conversation with yourself cannot achieve. I know what to expect from myself. I do not know what to expect from others.

Unfortunately we do not have a remote control for our lives. We must live through both its ups and downs. And isn't that the beauty in life? Pain to find pleasure. If we did not know the bad then we would not know the good. We would not be able to savour the truly good moments when they do occur in life. Being familiar with what sucks in life will give you an appreciation for what you get and when you get it. Meaningful connections do occur in life, no matter how little. And it is these engagements that make life worth living, even when it seems that nobody wants you. The little that you receive will fuel you on until it happens again. Some people do care, albeit the minority of the population.

I don't think this girl is going to work out. She has not messaged me in three days, and she promised that she would give me time yesterday. Oh well. It was good to actually find someone that I was interested in. She didn't talk to me for long so there is no way that I can really know. If I just found someone that could be the love of my life, I would drop everything in life and give them the attention that they deserved. But despite her words, my video must not have made as much as an impact on her as she led me to believe. I want a girl who will get lost in my work. I want to be her entertainment in this life. And if she doesn't have the time to dedicate to me, then a relationship is not possible.

I have not really had the writing spirit these last few days. I guess it comes and it goes. It is always good swapping between the vlog and the blog. I don't always feel like writing and I don't always feel like making videos. Sometimes I don't feel like doing either and then the reality of my lonely life comes back to haunt me. Without writing and videos, what am I? I have no other passions in my life that I can achieve. I want to be a social butterfly. I want my time to be spent messaging people. But that lifestyle is unobtainable to me. So I just sit and think. And time passes me by. Bored and lonely without anything to do other than vent my frustrations in life in my diary.

But I am doing more than venting my frustrations here. I am painting an image of what my life is like and what I want it to be like. This is my roadmap to a greater future. All of my plans in life can be found here. Where I want to go next is found in my latest production. I guide my life by my own expressions. I build the framework in which I live under. I am master of my own passions. Life doesn't live me, I live it. I make the reality that I exist within. And even though this is a very lonely reality, I seek every day for people who can expand my horizons. I would never have the opportunity in real life to find other truly compassionate souls. Searching on the Internet provides me the possibility of finding them.

I wish philosophy was more celebrated in this world. Going through thousands of profiles looking for one beautiful person who likes philosophy is not working. Why are so few girls interested in philosophy? What about philosophy turns girls off? Packed within is all the joy and excitement that you could ever want. How could something as exciting as philosophy be overlooked by women? Don't women want moral men? How can you obtain morals besides philosophy? One can inherit morals from a collective. But one cannot create their own moral foundation without the use of philosophy. Why is the philosophical good life not something that females seek out?

Why are people not generally trustworthy? I hear all of these stories of good people but I can rarely find them in my reality. If it is so difficult to find a trustworthy friend in this life then imagine how hard it would be to find a trustworthy lover. The odds to find love in this life are stacked against me. Dating apps are not made for content producers. The best chance that I have at finding love in this life is by pouring my heart out through text and video. If it doesn't work, then oh well. It was worth a shot. And it is better to be alone than with the wrong person. And if I cannot find someone who has the time to spend to build a relationship, then I am to remain single.